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You're Addicted to Cycling When... |
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- You buy your crutches instead of renting.
- You see nothing wrong with discussing the connection between hydration and urine color.
- You find your Shimano touring shoes to be more comfortable and stylish than your new trainers
- You refuse to buy a settee because that patch of wall-space is taken up by a bike.
- You have more money invested in your bike clothes than in the rest of your combined wardrobe.
- Biker chick means black lycra, not leather, and a Marinoni, not a Harley.
- "Four cheeseburgers and four large French Fries" is for you.
- You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young thing ride by, and the first thing you check out is his or her bicycle.
- You empathize with the road-kill.
- Despite all that winter weight you put on, you'll take off weight by buying titanium components.
- You use wax on your chain, but not on your legs (girls).
- You use wax on your chain, AND on your legs (boys).
- Your current bike is older than your grown up children.
- Your first course when you eat out is a large banana split.
- You yell "Car!" when passing another car, and "Bump!" when you see a pothole - while driving your car.
- Your bike has more miles on its computer then your car's odometer.
- You wear your bike shorts swimming.
- You wear Voodoo T-shirts all the time, including under dress shirts.
- Your bikes are worth more than your car.
- You buy a mini-van and immediately remove the rear seats to allow your bike(s) to fit.
- When you move to a new area the first thing you look for is a bike shop.
- You have more bike jerseys than low-cut tops.
- You take your bike along when you shop for a car - just to make sure the bike will fit inside.
- You view crashes as an opportunity to upgrade components.
- You clean your bike(s) more often then your house.
- You're on the Board of Directors for a Bike Club.
- You spend weeks during the summer spraying arrows on the sides of roads.
- You and your significant other have and wear identical riding clothes.
- You put your bike in your car and the value of the total package increases by a factor of 4 (or better).
- You can't seem to get to work by 8:30 AM, even for important
meetings, but you don't have any problems at all meeting your mates at
5:30 AM for a hundred-miler.
- You can tell your other half, with a straight face that it's too hot to mow the lawn and then bike off for a century.
- You regard inter-gender discussion of your genital pain/size/shape/utility as normal.
- Your New Years resolution is to put more miles on your bike than your car, and you do it.
- You know your cadence, but you have no idea what your speed is.
When driving your car you lean over the steering wheel, just like an
aero-bar.
- Your kids bring a rear derailleur to "Show & Tell".
- Your car sits outside your garage because your garage is full of bikes and cycling gear.
- Your surgeon tells you that you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between Presta and Schrader.
- A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest Playboy
centre-fold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for your
Cobra.
- You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.
- You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has bar end extenders longer than yours.
- You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.
- There is no time like the present, for postponing what you ought to
be doing, and go bicycling instead... AND the number-one reason you
know you're addicted to cycling...
- You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
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