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You know You're a Touring Cyclist When... |
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- You know how many miles you rode last year
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- You have a year-round weird tan
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- You have passionate opinions about logging trucks
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- You have permanent nerve damage in your hands, neck and/or groin
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- You have lots of pics of yourself next to the signs at the top of mountain passes
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- You sometimes think seriously about the trailer vs pannier debate
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- You know what "gear inches" means
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- You have your own pet theory on how best to break in a Brooks saddle
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- You have your own recipe for awsome morning oatmeal
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- You have a good working knowledge of the pros and cons of all the camping stoves on the market currently
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- You are an expert at getting the maximum value from a night in a motel
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- You have lots of funny/scary dog stories
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- You've slept in a church
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- You find yourself automatically checking out secluded fields for good tent spots
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- You are an expert at spotting thunderstorms from a distance
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- Actual, real bicycle shops seem like a gift from the gods
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- You hate the wind with a passion that borders on obsession
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- You have a growing disdain for car drivers
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- You forget the horrible wind, humidity and hills within one month, and start dreaming about the next trip
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- You have 2 decades of old Bicycling Magazines in the closet
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- You have first-hand knowledge of how to set up a tent while it's raining and the wind is gusting to 60 kph/40mph.
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- You know all the possible fuels your stove can burn, and what their names are in at least 2 languages.
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- You automatically calculate distances between cities in "days of riding."
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- You have legs like a wrestler and arms like a malnourished squirrel.
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- You have become an obsessive map collector.
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- You've become a sworn enemy of certain cities/states/countries because of their perceived lack of bike-friendliness.
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- You love to wear tights even though you're a guy.
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- You think lycra looks nice and think it's perfectly normal to dress like a parrot.
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- You view lofty mountain passes with sentiments very similar to those of a hunter eager to shoot his next trophy.
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- You consider motorists a morally degraded species of sociopaths.
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- You don't care much about the government or politics but hold passionate opinions on helmets, mirrors and bike paths.
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- You don't read books anymore unless the title contains the word ‘bicycle’.
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- Your main criterion for choosing your significant other is his/her bike-compatibility.
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- You forfeit marriage altogether because your one and only true love is your bike.
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- You can remember what the gearing was on every bike you've owned including that 70s 10 speed.
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- You know that the road from your house to your work has numerous hills on it although drivers can't see them.
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- You know to the second the traffic light sequences on your regular routes.
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- You live 5 km from the office but you know a neat 40 km route home for nice days.
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- You know the most indirect way between two points.
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- You notice little things like half-painted walls, lawn ornaments, and litter.
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- You are conscious of the texture of the pavement.
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- You have a morbid fascination with road-kill.
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- You see that little dot of tan on the back of your hand.
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- You can eat a banana split without feeling guilty.
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- It
is 2:18 p.m. on the first warm day in spring, and you are looking out
the window at work (like I'm doing now) and wishing you were on your
bike!!!! …
- You lift your butt off the car seat as you go over a pothole.
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- You turn the air vents on your car to blow directly into your face.
…You own a pile of lightweight stuff that has multiple uses.
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- You stop to read those historical roadside signs.
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- You look for automobiles with bike racks.
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- You throw a passing cyclist the "horns".
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- You
don't have to look over your shoulder to tell there is a bus,
motorcycle, motorhome, beetle, logging truck coming from behind. …
- You have rejected a rental car because it had a rear spoiler that interfered with your strap-on bike rack.
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- You
live in South Carolina but some of those you count among your best
friends live in Germany, Israel, Scotland, Canada.........
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